I am not a feminist because

 

Spoiler alert; I actually am a feminist. But the reasons I am a feminist are not ones anti-feminists think they are. Allow me to elaborate.

 

I am not a feminist because I want to destroy the institution of marriage. I like marriage plenty, so much so that I got married myself. I like it so much that I think every consenting adult so way inclined should be able to get married, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender or culture. I like marriage so much I think everyone should be able to choose who they get married to by themselves out of their own free will, but also to leave the marriage if it no longer is a viable union without unreasonable repercussions.

 

I am not a feminist because I hate men. I love men. So much so I married one. I love men so much I want to see them freed from this toxic masculinity which forces them to “man up” and to not cry or feel. I want them to not be ridiculed and their masculinity questioned if they choose to be stay-at-home dads, express their emotions, if they’re not violent or assertive or if they don’t fall into stereotypes someone else has made up. I want men to understand that toxic masculinity relates to the cultural perspective given to masculinity, not the biological traits of the male gender. I want them to be able to express themselves without condemnation from their peers. Because I fecking love ‘em.

 

 

I am not a feminist because I am a bitch. I was a bitch long before I was a feminist. Moving swiftly on.

 

I am not a feminist because I promote female superiority. I don’t want to be superior. I want to be equal. I don’t want to work the same job as my male counterpart and be paid less. I don’t want to be passed on for a promotion because I have different bits between my legs than my male colleague. I don’t want to be pointed the finger of blame at if I am assaulted by a man, because of what I was wearing or where I was walking or how drunk I was. I don’t want to be called a c*nt if I am assertive and aggressive. I don’t want us to live in a world where it is expected that a man would abandon his pregnant girlfriend, be incapable and/or unwilling to take responsibility, to feel little to no attachment to an unborn child, and expecting pregnancy and motherhood to ruin the girlfriend and the relationship. Or in a world that assumes that in case of divorce, children will automatically go with their mothers, instead of examining each situation individually. While fighting for women’s equality, feminism gives men freedom too. It hurts no one but helps everyone.

 

 

I’ll be the first one to admit that it’s not that long ago when I was saying I could never be a feminist because of the baggage the word carried. I even cracked a few “bra burning” jokes. But thankfully I have friends who patiently and sometimes (deservedly) harshly educated me on how ill-informed I was about what feminism actually stood for. Thankfully I have a husband who identifies as a feminist and takes no shit.

 

Feminism wants to have equal opportunities for women and men and for women to be intellectual equals to men. Just because someone (and this was me at one point) doesn’t feel first-hand the unequal opportunity of women, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. It just could be that you’re enjoying a social, economic or political privilege which shields you from it. Privilege is not inherently a negative thing, if it is used to advance those who do not have it – but if it’s used to belittle and ridicule those who do not enjoy it, or worse: try to stomp on their attempt to climb up in the world, you’re just a douche and you should GTFO.

 

 

Basically what I’m getting at, is that feminism works to establish equal economic, social and political rights for women. Feminism is for men and women. It’s not exclusive, it’s inclusive. If you don’t like the name – fair enough. A rose by any other name and so forth. As long as we’re on the same page about the cause. But if your problem is the cause itself, you’re against progress and I got no time for you.

 

  • Nazrin Miah

    I actually love this so much and I found myself nodding my head to each with agreement. We can be all about WMN PWR without hating on men and feeling like the superior sex. I actually love this post so much I want to do my own twist on it for a future post!!!!

    http://www.nmdiaries.com

    • Katja Knox

      You totally should! Link me up so I can read yours! xx

  • Konyinsola

    Great post!!!

    Konyinsola | http://www.pearlsandpencil.com

  • happy nami

    Such an awesome post! The future is definitely female! 😉

    Tadeja
    http://www.happynami.com

  • This Curvy Life

    It is interesting the way that you shared your thought process. I liked reading how you feel about feminism for you.

  • We should all be feminists because we as women, need to be treated equal. We were born in the same side with men, not above them, not below them.

  • The bitch one had me giggling! I don’t like to categories myself, but I share a lot of the same opinions you do!
    Much love, Caitylis x x