Friday Feature: Dear Future Me – a letter to myself

You know that feeling when you’re trolling around your old posts on any given social media platform that you’ve used for what feels like a forever? And then suddenly you find a post that resonates with you on such a deep level that it’s really hard to explain it? That’s what happened to me today. I was going to write to you guys about things that make me happy but then got to procrastinating and was going through my own Facebook (yeah I know, how sad, I was stalking myself) when I came across something I wrote to myself five years ago. It was just before I met hubby and it was something I wish someone had told me then.

I didn’t just randomly write this, mind you. There was a meme going around which encouraged people to write a letter to themselves. The instruction were pretty simple: Write a letter to Your Future Self, to be read when needed, and to share with others, in case they need to read it as well. Spread sparks of joy and share your pain, and remind your future self that things will get better.

Pretty sweet, eh? Not nearly as sweet as what I wrote to myself.

A photo by Dustin Lee. unsplash.com/photos/jLwVAUtLOAQ

Dear Future Me

I know today you feel like life is heavy and unbearable, but I want you to remember it isn’t always like that, and I want you to remember things that really matter.

Don’t become bitter of things you have no control over, of things that have already happened or things you cannot achieve. Bitterness is like a heavy load, it will blind you to the beautiful things in life and it will slowly eat you up inside. Nothing that anyone does to you is worth of you carrying it with you for the rest of your life. Don’t waste time in hating. It doesn’t make you stronger; in fact, it makes you weaker. Hating might be easier and the safer option, but ultimately it drains you and makes you weak.

Remember that where you came from or who you were will never dictate who you are or who you can become. Remember that past trespasses will not define you. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, and to sometimes fail. Remember that it is only a chance to do it again and to succeed, or to find another way. Remember that you are not a sum of your failures, but of also of your victories.

Don’t be afraid you will never become who you wanted to become. You have already become you, a unique character with unique experiences, one of a kind, never to be again. Don’t be afraid no one will remember you once you are gone. You will forever live in the hearts of those who love you, and if those who don’t won’t remember you, it isn’t much of a loss.

Rejoice in the small achievements as much as the big ones. Getting up in the morning or making that perfect cup of coffee is as much of an achievement as is getting a promotion or the grade you wanted. Don’t set yourself limits to what is acceptable to rejoice about. Life has so much unhappiness that finding a seed of joy in even the smallest things can brighten up even your darkest hour.  Remember that no darkness, no matter how deep, is forever. Even after the longest night comes dawn.

Don’t be afraid to give up, or to pick your battles Every war is not worth fighting and sometimes it’s better to spare your strength to the ones that actually matter.

Don’t be afraid to admit you hurt, you failed or you haven’t gone as far as you wanted to go. Don’t be ashamed to not have what others have. It doesn’t make you weaker or make you look stupid. It can only open options to make things better, be it friendly advice or the hug you really needed all along.

Don’t build up defences trying to protect yourself from getting hurt, it doesn’t work and it only isolates you from people who love you and can carry you when you can’t carry yourself.

Don’t be afraid to love, and if you must, also lose the ones you love. Don’t forget love never disappears, even though the object of it might change. Don’t think you love less because something doesn’t meet the standards you set them; they aren’t meant to. Love freely, without asking for anything in return, without any bounds. Love is never wasted, even when not returned.

Don’t judge people based on their mistakes and their misfortunes. Rejoice in their achievements. Remember that even when they achieve something you cannot grasp, it takes nothing away from you. Don’t envy people for what they have, but be thankful for what you do have.

Don’t count every penny; some experiences cannot be valued in money. If you need money, lend it, but always pay back your debts. Remember that money is designed to move. Don’t waste your nights awake worrying about money, whether you have it or not will not change overnight, and worrying is so much more productive after a good night’s sleep.

Don’t be afraid to make a fool of yourself. We are all fools of our own life.

Don’t apologise for who you were in the past. It only led you to who you are today. Accept that you were not complete then, and you are not complete now. Accept you will never be complete. Remember your life is a journey and not a race, an adventure and not a path of mourning. Accept that next year you won’t be the same as you are today. Don’t be afraid to change, because it is inevitable and will happen whether you want it to or not.

Accept that you have limits. You can’t do everything, nor were you meant to. Remember you have your strengths, and others have theirs. Be happy that you can be different to everyone else. Allow others difference to enrich your life, not to burden it.

Don’t worry what people think about you. You can waste an entire lifetime trying to please everyone, when the only person you need to please is you; no-one else has to live with you for the rest of your days. Try to think good of people, even when they don’t deserve it, but if you must think ill of them, do so briefly and to yourself. Don’t lower yourself to inane gossip and malicious badmouthing.

Don’t lie to people. Respect others enough to tell them the truth, or to gracefully fall silent if you have nothing else to say.

Remember that you are invaluable, irreplaceable and unique just as you are. Accept you are just you, exactly as you are, cannot be anything else and shouldn’t be anything else. Don’t compare yourself to others, because they are not who you are and can never compare to you.

Remember to live every day with the best intentions to live it like it’s your last (even if you can’t), to live fearlessly (as much as you can) and most importantly to live today. Tomorrow will come in its own pace whether you worry about it or not. There is a saying: yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the “present.”

With much love,

Your Past Self

I don’t know about you, but I feel like I needed to hear that again today.

Did you take part in this meme? Let me know in the comments!

10 Comments

  • Author Brandi Kennedy March 26, 2017 at 11:56 pm

    This is a spectacular post – so well written and filled with so much truth! Thank you for sharing it here.

    Reply
  • Chrinstine September 28, 2016 at 12:36 am

    I couldn’t resist commenting. Exceptionally well written! http://bing.org

    Reply
  • Hali @daytodayMOMents September 22, 2016 at 3:21 pm

    It’s such a great read, for anyone. Just motivational. This is a great idea..but I must admit as a parent I have written similar to my children in the future.

    Reply
  • kittylimon September 22, 2016 at 8:45 am

    I never took part in the challenge myself but I feel I should of, it’s such a nice way of reflecting on your past in a positive way. It was a lovely post/letter to read 🙂

    Reply
  • Ivana J September 22, 2016 at 6:17 am

    Lovely post, I find myself in this xo

    http://www.theninebyivana.blogspot.com

    Reply
  • Mimi September 22, 2016 at 3:57 am

    I shall do this myself too 🙂 Great idea!

    Reply
  • SASWATI BHOI September 22, 2016 at 12:00 am

    Such a great read!! Few great thoughts and messages inside it!! 🙂 Thanks for sharing!! 🙂

    Reply
  • The Budget Fashion Seeker September 21, 2016 at 5:47 pm

    That is a nice read! You made me miss writing on a diary 🙂

    The Budget Fashion Seeker

    Reply
  • kaleigh September 21, 2016 at 4:29 pm

    I love this idea so much!! great post!

    Reply
  • Sonja Josipovic September 21, 2016 at 3:08 pm

    Love this letter!

    Reply

Leave a Comment